Friday, September 17, 2010


I don't generally consider myself a sarcastic figure. Though, I must admit, sarcasm is displayed all around me. My sister alone has been given to say that her whole humor is based on sarcasm and cynic. As such, I decided to interview the sarcasm queen, my twin sister Haley. Here it goes: 

"Sarcasm isn't just a sense of humor, it's a way of life. A philosophy, if you will. Many people who think they are hilarious, generally think they are able to be sarcastic, but this is not the case. As the saying goes "practice makes perfect." You have to work REALLY hard to be as successful as I am. I wake up each day and look at myself in the mirror and say something along the lines of;
      "Why, hello Medusa... glad to see your hair is still as luscious as ever"
"Sure, I use myself as a victim sometimes... it's painful, yes, but necessary. It's important to begin your sarcastic attitude at the beginning of the day, so it peaks by midafternoon. It's like waking up on the wrong side of bed... It's good to be cranky."
"Some people find sarcasm slightly offensive, but I say, 'hey, it's your choice to be offended, I'm just stating the obvious'. Note, friends may lessen. Luckily, I have a twin who is legally obliged to stay by my side through thick and thin... She is my punching bag, blood is thicker than water. It's also thicker than grapejuice, which is quite delicious... hmm... I want grapejuice" (at this point, I roll my eyes)

Well... There you have it. The truth of sarcasm from the queen herself. (Haley looks at what i've written and responds "I'm so awesome, aren't I?... thank you, I'll be here till Thursday" ) It's true. Sarcastic people are rather awesome. But what has driven society as a a whole to resort to such humor? Undoubtedly, it takes a true master of wit to be sarcastic, but has it not decreased in skill over the years?  It seems now that everyone is doing it.  Well, should I say, everyone TRIES. And society's feeble attempt at sarcasm has lowered it's infamous reputation. Not only are the more superior attempting sarcasm, but the lower intellects too... WHAT IS THIS?! And what does Haley, the Queen of Sarcasm, have to say about this quandary? "Everybody thinks they're sarcastic, but only the truly sarcastic are able to be loved at the same time... like me... you love me, right?"

PS: Haley would also like you to know that she has mastered the arts of playful banter, cynicism, slapstick comedy and general hilariousness... her phone number is 801-512-totally joking. 

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